By: Tim Clinton and Pat Springle
Published by Worthy Publishing
It is sometimes difficult for me to read about negative, destructive relationships, having come from one myself. I wish I would have had this book a number of years ago, but I was able to get good counseling to help me sort out my own issues. I was able to realize there was a problem, determine what the problem was, and seek to remedy that problem. But I had to get away from the circumstances of that problem. Reading Break Through five years after I stepped away, FREE, from my own personal issues sheds a lot of light on my situation and why I did the things I did. I imagine I am not alone in personal relationship struggles. In fact, I would venture to say that most everyone has had a negative relationship in their life, either by being the needy person or being the one who was controlling. And even though these relationships are unhealthy, it is sometimes easier to stay with something we know instead of breaking free into the unknown. That is what Break Through, by Dr. Tim Clinton and Pat Springle seeks to explain.
Here is an excerpt from Break Through which seems to sum up these harmful relationships:
"It is incredibly difficult to overcome a lifetime of entrenched habits, fixed and vivid memories, rigid brain patterns, manipulative feedback from a demanding person, and the adrenaline rush of pain and pleasure. Until a major crisis creates an explosive combination of desperation and true hope that shakes us to the core, we will not change. Until that crisis rocks our world, we will cling to the false hope that the person(s) with whom we share an enmeshed relationship will magically change and everybody will live happily ever after."
Another point made in Break Through is that we all have to realize we cannot change another person. We can only change ourselves. And if the other person refuses to acknowledge that there is a problem and continues in the destructive pattern, then we must have the courage to separate ourselves from that relationship. We ourselves cannot heal until we step back from our destructive behaviours, whether they be controlling others or being controlled by others. We need to be willing to set things right with other parties, realizing they may not be willing to comply. We may need to forgive and then move on with our lives, making sure to keep avenues open to accept and work with the ones we have been entrapped with, without allowing the same destructive habits to come back into the relationship.
Let me just take the opportunity to say this: if you are in a destructive relationship where abuse occurs, find someone to help you! Do it now, don't wait. And if one person is not willing to help you, then search until you get the help you need.
Clinton and Springle liberally use God's word to show how being in a hurtful relationship, whether we are the one hurting or the one doing the hurting, is not what God designed. And using the same word of God to show how we can make changes in our lives to have better relationships with others.
Something to remember:
"Crises seem utterly cataclysmic. The heartache and darkness of a crises can be overwhelming, but God is the master of turning mourning into dancing and darkness into light. If we step back, we might catch a glimpse of what he sees...God will use even our most difficult moments to produce the qualities of Jesus in us as we trust him. And he'll replace our shame with hope -- the assurance that our lives matter and God loves us dearly. We may not like the curriculum God has for us, but the outcome is sweet: hope and love."
I hope that you will pick up a copy of this book. Read it yourself, answer the thought provoking questions at the end of the chapter, share this book with a friend. If you are hurting, take the first step to get help. If you know someone who is hurting, be there for that person. Lovingly help them get help to make needed changes. Share this book and other books with them. And by all means pray!
In order to comply with new Federal Trade Commission regulations, please note that this book was provided compliments of Handlebar Marketing.