My Own Comedy of Errors, and My Rescue

Can you hear it?  The constant drip... drip... drip of the leaking bath tub faucet.  Annoying enough.  Then it's drip, drip, drip.  And soon it goes to dddddrrrriiiiiiiiiipppppppppp, a nice, steady stream...  What's a girl to do?  She can call her Daddy, or she can look it up on the Internet (watch the video below) and figure it out herself.  After all, she was raised to be independent, to be able to do things for herself. 

 

Okay, so I watched the above video a few times, and it seemed simple enough.  I lined up my tools in the bathroom, took a big breath.... and I couldn't get the handle off.  Yes, I was using the 1/8" Allen wrench, but the screw must have been stripped.  I tried and tried, to no avail.  So I went to bed and couldn't sleep for thinking.  How am I going to get that handle off?  I haven't even started on the real work yet.  I don't want to ask Daddy to drive 30 minutes one way to come to my rescue (he had done just that three weeks earlier when my car broke down).  I can do this!  I just have to figure out how.  

The next morning I was determined to get that faucet off and the water leak repaired.  After all, that WAS money going down the drain, and I'm not rich.  Once more I tried the Allen wrench, still didn't work.  So I brought out the big guns (I sure hope my Dad isn't reading this, because he just might disown me...).  My electric drill.  With a nice drill bit on the end that fit just right into the hole in the faucet.  Yep, if I couldn't make the wrench work, I could certainly drill through the head of the screw.  Or so I thought.  The drill bit wasn't quite long enough.  Talk about frustrating!  But apparently it was long enough to drill out the center of the screw, because I tried the wrench again and out the screw came, fitting neatly over the tip of my wrench.  That screw certainly can't be used again!  So, off came the handle.

Now things would certainly be much easier.  Couldn't get any worse, could it?  Especially since all the parts were coming off as the above video said they would.  I didn't even need a wrench on the fitting that held the valves in place!  To pull out the valves and replace those rubber fittings and springs was going to be a piece of cake!  

Except... when I managed to pull out the valves, I released a jet of water!  I'm talking about 65 psi (as I was later told)!  Sixty-five pounds per square inch!! It was like someone was using a fire hose in my bathroom, or at least so it seemed.  I mean, I certainly didn't remember the video saying anything about this happening!  In a panic, I forgot all about putting in the rubber gaskets and springs, and desperately tried to force the valves back in place.  It wasn't happening... I was standing outside the tub, and it was filling up fast.  Nothing to do but climb in and shove for all I was worth.  I was desperately praying for God to give me the strength to put that valve back in place.  Wasn't working. I started bailing water by the bucket full and dumping it into the toilet, then slipped and ran to the laundry room where I turned off the hot water on the furnace.  I bailed some more, jumped back in the tub, and once again tried to force the part back in.  Finally!!!  Shaking so bad I thought I was going to drop my parts, I tried to put the outside fitting back on, hoping it would hold and slow or stop the flow of water.  No such luck.  Well the fitting held, but it didn't hold back the water.  At least now the water was coming out of the faucet at a regular fill-up-the-bathtub rate, which gave me some time.  I bailed some more.  I called the water company and asked them to come turn off the water, since I couldn't find a shut off valve to the house.  I must have been a sight!  They said they would come turn it on whenever I was through with my repair, which was now much easier to do.

Unfortunately the drip was worse than before.  The water guy had said I was losing water at the rate of 1/2 a gallon per minute.  Start adding that up!  So what do you think I did next?  I called my Daddy!!  He didn't seem amused when I told him I thought I had tried to drown myself that morning.  But after explaining through my laughter, he did see the humor. And of course, in true Daddy fashion he said he would fix it for me.  What a relief!  

Daddy called me Monday morning to discuss my problem.  Did I know that I could have turned the water off in the wall behind the tub?  All I had to do was take off the face plate and there were the cut off valves.  No, I didn't know that.  That video above, you know.   Must have been made for someone with some basic plumbing skills.  Because I still don't remember it saying anything about cutting off the water, or how or where to cut off the water.  I guess the guy just assumed that MOST people would KNOW to cut off the water first!!  I have watched my Dad and helped my Dad work on so many repairs of various kinds that I should have.... well, you know.

Upon telling the guys at work my story and after hearing their raucous laughter (and heartily joining in, I might add), I was told that I should never, ever try to do any electrical work.  Because failing to turn off the POWER would not allow me a second chance (guys, I'm not THAT stupid!).

More seriously, I left money for my Dad to use to replace the parts of my faucet.  But he called and told me that the money was on the counter, that it was "his privilege" to make those repairs for me.  I'm having a hard time writing this part, because I'm writing through tears.  I am so fortunate to have a dad like mine!  

When Daddy told me it was "his privilege", it made me think about God.  He is waiting for us to step back and allow Him to help us, but He'll never force His way.  Can't you hear Him?   It was and is His privilege to help us.  He loves us.  He sent His Son to die for us, and WE DON'T EVEN DESERVE IT!  Just because He loves us, like my Dad loves me.  Remember Philipians 4:19 says, "But my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus."

Reese

Personal Thoughts on Abusive Situations

I have been feeling like I need to make some personal comments after having read and posted the book review on Break Through. I have kept quiet on my blog about personal abuse in my marriage out of respect for my two teenage sons. However, reading Break Through has prompted me to give you some personal, insider notes without trying to make a big deal or cast blame. I do feel that at some point in time God will ask me to share, and I want to be obedient, ready and willing when that time comes. But for now, here are some comments from the perspective of someone who has been there.

To those in crises situations:

There is no shame in seeking help.

There is never any reason for someone to verbally or physically abuse you.

You did not "make" them do it to you.

Be prepared for denial on the part of the offender.

It will NOT get better, only worse.

To family members of those in crises situations:

Unless a person is ready to get out of the abusive situation, they will go right back to it. It’s easier to deal with what you know than the unknown.

Never, ever minimize the abuse with your loved one.

Do not pretend it did not happen.

The person in the situation needs to be acknowledged and allowed to give voice when the need arises.

Most of the time your loved one just needs to talk.

Yes, it's painful for you to hear.

Yes, you may want to take action against the offending party.

And no, you are not to blame for what happened or for not knowing what was going on.

The important thing is what you do now. Just don't let yourself get into a situation where you are enabling, you need to help your loved one grow.

How do you think God feels:

God loves you.

You are precious in His sight.

He died for us to free us from our sins.

He was ABUSED and MURDERED for us.

He knows what you are going through.

He wants you to be free from abuse.

You know, Christians have been taught that divorce is wrong; that under no circumstance should you consider divorce. I struggled with this issue of divorce for several years before breaking free. However, there are a few instances in the Bible in both the Old and the New Testaments giving permission for divorce. While waiting to make your decision you may need to get help and physically step away from the abusive situation and not return until you are certain the offenses will not happen again (which means that not only the offender needs to change, but you need to change, too). If your life is on the line you need to get out, and the sooner the better. And please, find someone you can trust and talk with.

I am a woman who is now five years free from living this type of life, and my situation was mild considering what I have seen and heard of others. I made a decision to get help (counseling and the help of family members), to change my life, to make good friends (do you really have friends when you are in this type of situation?), to grow into the woman I feel I was always meant to be. You can do it, too!

Reese

NOTE: I am not a professional counselor. I am not a counselor at all. My thoughts are just that, my personal thoughts. Please seek counseling from a professional if you are in an abusive situation!

BOOK REVIEW: Break Through

By: Tim Clinton and Pat Springle
Copyright 2012
Published by Worthy Publishing

It is sometimes difficult for me to read about negative, destructive relationships, having come from one myself.  I wish I would have had this book a number of years ago, but I was able to get good counseling to help me sort out my own issues.  I was able to realize there was a problem, determine what the problem was, and seek to remedy that problem.  But I had to get away from the circumstances of that problem.  Reading Break Through five years after I stepped away, FREE, from my own personal issues sheds a lot of light on my situation and why I did the things I did.  I imagine I am not alone in personal relationship struggles.  In fact, I would venture to say that most everyone has had a negative relationship in their life, either by being the needy person or being the one who was controlling. And even though these relationships are unhealthy, it is sometimes easier to stay with something we know instead of breaking free into the unknown.  That is what Break Through, by Dr. Tim Clinton and Pat Springle seeks to explain. 

Here is an excerpt from Break Through which seems to sum up these harmful relationships:

"It is incredibly difficult to overcome a lifetime of entrenched habits, fixed and vivid memories, rigid brain patterns, manipulative feedback from a demanding person, and the adrenaline rush of pain and pleasure.  Until a major crisis creates an explosive combination of desperation and true hope that shakes us to the core, we will not change. Until that crisis rocks our world, we will cling to the false hope that the person(s) with whom we share an enmeshed relationship will magically change and everybody will live happily ever after."

Another point made in Break Through is that we all have to realize we cannot change another person.  We can only change ourselves.  And if the other person refuses to acknowledge that there is a problem and continues in the destructive pattern, then we must have the courage to separate ourselves from that relationship.  We ourselves cannot heal until we step back from our destructive behaviours, whether they be controlling others or being controlled by others.  We need to be willing to set things right with other parties, realizing they may not be willing to comply.  We may need to forgive and then move on with our lives, making sure to keep avenues open to accept and work with the ones we have been entrapped with, without allowing the same destructive habits to come back into the relationship.

Let me just take the opportunity to say this:  if you are in a destructive relationship where abuse occurs, find someone to help you!  Do it now, don't wait.  And if one person is not willing to help you, then search until you get the help you need. 

  

Clinton and Springle liberally use God's word to show how being in a hurtful relationship, whether we are the one hurting or the one doing the hurting, is not what God designed.  And using the same word of God to show how we can make changes in our lives to have better relationships with others.

Something to remember: 

"Crises seem utterly cataclysmic.  The heartache and darkness of a crises can be overwhelming, but God is the master of turning mourning into dancing and darkness into light.  If we step back, we might catch a glimpse of what he sees...God will use even our most difficult moments to produce the qualities of Jesus in us as we trust him.  And he'll replace our shame with hope -- the assurance that our lives matter and God loves us dearly.  We may not like the curriculum God has for us, but the outcome is sweet:  hope and love."

I hope that you will pick up a copy of this book.  Read it yourself, answer the thought provoking questions at the end of the chapter, share this book with a friend.  If you are hurting, take the first step to get help.  If you know someone who is hurting, be there for that person.  Lovingly help them get help to make needed changes.  Share this book and other books with them.  And by all means pray!

In order to comply with new Federal Trade Commission regulations, please note that this book was provided compliments of  Handlebar Marketing.

I Will Rejoice in the God of My Salvation

No matter what we are going through, whether it be personal struggles or worries about things going on around us, as Christians we can and should put our faith and trust in the Lord.  He is the One Who made us, the One Who created the universe.  Why shouldn't we trust in Him?  Doesn't He ask us to do just that?

Here's what the prophet Habakkuk had to say:

Though the fig tree should not blossom,

And there be no fruit on the vines,

Though the yield of the olive should fail,

And the fields produce no food,

Though the flock should be cut off from the fold,

And there be no cattle in the stalls,

Yet I will exult in the LORD,

I will rejoice in the God of my salvation.

The LORD GOD is my strength.

(Habakkuk 3:17-19)

Everything Habakkuk is talking about in these verses would affect his livelihood.  If the fruit trees and vines and fields did not blossom, then they would yield no food -- what would he eat or sell for essentials?  If something happened to the animals -- what would he eat or drink or sell?  If something did happen to his livelihood, he was willing to trust in, rejoice in and exult in the Lord.  He knew where to turn for strength.

Since all scripture was inspired by God, we can also look at this scripture as God giving reassurance to Christians. Yes, we can rely on Him.  He will be our strength.  We can put our faith and trust in Him. Nothing is going to happen that is not allowed by God.  See how Jesus Himself addresses this issue in Matthew 6:25-34. Our God is in control! 

Take comfort...

Reese