Personal Thoughts on Abusive Situations

I have been feeling like I need to make some personal comments after having read and posted the book review on Break Through. I have kept quiet on my blog about personal abuse in my marriage out of respect for my two teenage sons. However, reading Break Through has prompted me to give you some personal, insider notes without trying to make a big deal or cast blame. I do feel that at some point in time God will ask me to share, and I want to be obedient, ready and willing when that time comes. But for now, here are some comments from the perspective of someone who has been there.

To those in crises situations:

There is no shame in seeking help.

There is never any reason for someone to verbally or physically abuse you.

You did not "make" them do it to you.

Be prepared for denial on the part of the offender.

It will NOT get better, only worse.

To family members of those in crises situations:

Unless a person is ready to get out of the abusive situation, they will go right back to it. It’s easier to deal with what you know than the unknown.

Never, ever minimize the abuse with your loved one.

Do not pretend it did not happen.

The person in the situation needs to be acknowledged and allowed to give voice when the need arises.

Most of the time your loved one just needs to talk.

Yes, it's painful for you to hear.

Yes, you may want to take action against the offending party.

And no, you are not to blame for what happened or for not knowing what was going on.

The important thing is what you do now. Just don't let yourself get into a situation where you are enabling, you need to help your loved one grow.

How do you think God feels:

God loves you.

You are precious in His sight.

He died for us to free us from our sins.

He was ABUSED and MURDERED for us.

He knows what you are going through.

He wants you to be free from abuse.

You know, Christians have been taught that divorce is wrong; that under no circumstance should you consider divorce. I struggled with this issue of divorce for several years before breaking free. However, there are a few instances in the Bible in both the Old and the New Testaments giving permission for divorce. While waiting to make your decision you may need to get help and physically step away from the abusive situation and not return until you are certain the offenses will not happen again (which means that not only the offender needs to change, but you need to change, too). If your life is on the line you need to get out, and the sooner the better. And please, find someone you can trust and talk with.

I am a woman who is now five years free from living this type of life, and my situation was mild considering what I have seen and heard of others. I made a decision to get help (counseling and the help of family members), to change my life, to make good friends (do you really have friends when you are in this type of situation?), to grow into the woman I feel I was always meant to be. You can do it, too!

Reese

NOTE: I am not a professional counselor. I am not a counselor at all. My thoughts are just that, my personal thoughts. Please seek counseling from a professional if you are in an abusive situation!

BOOK REVIEW: Break Through

By: Tim Clinton and Pat Springle
Copyright 2012
Published by Worthy Publishing

It is sometimes difficult for me to read about negative, destructive relationships, having come from one myself.  I wish I would have had this book a number of years ago, but I was able to get good counseling to help me sort out my own issues.  I was able to realize there was a problem, determine what the problem was, and seek to remedy that problem.  But I had to get away from the circumstances of that problem.  Reading Break Through five years after I stepped away, FREE, from my own personal issues sheds a lot of light on my situation and why I did the things I did.  I imagine I am not alone in personal relationship struggles.  In fact, I would venture to say that most everyone has had a negative relationship in their life, either by being the needy person or being the one who was controlling. And even though these relationships are unhealthy, it is sometimes easier to stay with something we know instead of breaking free into the unknown.  That is what Break Through, by Dr. Tim Clinton and Pat Springle seeks to explain. 

Here is an excerpt from Break Through which seems to sum up these harmful relationships:

"It is incredibly difficult to overcome a lifetime of entrenched habits, fixed and vivid memories, rigid brain patterns, manipulative feedback from a demanding person, and the adrenaline rush of pain and pleasure.  Until a major crisis creates an explosive combination of desperation and true hope that shakes us to the core, we will not change. Until that crisis rocks our world, we will cling to the false hope that the person(s) with whom we share an enmeshed relationship will magically change and everybody will live happily ever after."

Another point made in Break Through is that we all have to realize we cannot change another person.  We can only change ourselves.  And if the other person refuses to acknowledge that there is a problem and continues in the destructive pattern, then we must have the courage to separate ourselves from that relationship.  We ourselves cannot heal until we step back from our destructive behaviours, whether they be controlling others or being controlled by others.  We need to be willing to set things right with other parties, realizing they may not be willing to comply.  We may need to forgive and then move on with our lives, making sure to keep avenues open to accept and work with the ones we have been entrapped with, without allowing the same destructive habits to come back into the relationship.

Let me just take the opportunity to say this:  if you are in a destructive relationship where abuse occurs, find someone to help you!  Do it now, don't wait.  And if one person is not willing to help you, then search until you get the help you need. 

  

Clinton and Springle liberally use God's word to show how being in a hurtful relationship, whether we are the one hurting or the one doing the hurting, is not what God designed.  And using the same word of God to show how we can make changes in our lives to have better relationships with others.

Something to remember: 

"Crises seem utterly cataclysmic.  The heartache and darkness of a crises can be overwhelming, but God is the master of turning mourning into dancing and darkness into light.  If we step back, we might catch a glimpse of what he sees...God will use even our most difficult moments to produce the qualities of Jesus in us as we trust him.  And he'll replace our shame with hope -- the assurance that our lives matter and God loves us dearly.  We may not like the curriculum God has for us, but the outcome is sweet:  hope and love."

I hope that you will pick up a copy of this book.  Read it yourself, answer the thought provoking questions at the end of the chapter, share this book with a friend.  If you are hurting, take the first step to get help.  If you know someone who is hurting, be there for that person.  Lovingly help them get help to make needed changes.  Share this book and other books with them.  And by all means pray!

In order to comply with new Federal Trade Commission regulations, please note that this book was provided compliments of  Handlebar Marketing.

Fun with the guys

My guys hiking

Okay, if my sons EVER find out that I posted pictures on my blog of our recent trip to Oak Mountain State Park, I AM TOAST!  So please don't tell them! 

It all started when the boys arrived at my house at 7:00 a.m. on the dot.  I LOVE to sleep in, but I was up.  They were hungry so I fixed breakfast.  Then -- they were BORED!  Yeah, I know that's typical for teenagers.  Really, they had their faces buried in their new phones -- don't know what kind they are, but you can certainly download some cool (they think) games on them. 

I asked what they wanted to do for the day -- nothing (heads still buried in their games).  So I went about my business.  About an hour later I asked the question again, and it was the same.  So I said I was going to go out in the yard and putter around.  I had a tent that says it takes two people to put up, and I wanted to see if I could do it myself.  I asked the younger of my two sons to come supervise me (this son is very good with his hands, I guess you would say he is mechanically inclined).  So he supervised by standing there and looking at me with an odd look on his face, and by putting together the support poles, and then using those same poles to torture the dog.  ARRGH!!  Well, I did manage to set the tent up, and even though I sound like a three year old, I did it ALL BY MYSELF.  I was quite proud of myself.  Of course I had to test it out.  And the dog had to test it out.  I think he likes it and would like to go camping with me, which is good since my sons seem to think that camping is not cool.

I also put up the hammock, but I don't think they trust me because neither son would try it out.  But the youngest son took great pleasure in telling the dog to go jump in the hammock with me.  Umph!

After the tent, I decided to finish repairing the swing.  I had already prepped and painted, and all that was left was nailing on the slats.  Yes I am a girl, but I was taught I could do anything I set my hands to, and since I don't have a husband, I do a lot around here.   In any case I finished the swing, but not before my oldest son came outside to see what I was doing.  Reverse psychology here, ignore them and they will come...  Back to the swing.  He helped me hang it, he is taller than I am, but he wouldn't sit in it!  So I did.  

 Along about that time the oldest son said that he would like to go driving.  Mind you I was sitting in the swing, swinging and relaxing.  I didn't want to move.  I didn't want to go anywhere.  And remember that I asked the boys earlier if they would like to do anything during the day?  And there answer was -- no?!?  Well, I hemmed and hawed for a bit, but eventually told them to get ready, let me change, and on the way out the door I grabbed my camera because who knew what we might plan to do.

Again hiking -- when you go up, you have to go back down!  Parts of the trail you could slide down.

We climbed in the car and when the oldest said where to, I said take Highway 31 and go north.  I tossed the map into the backseat for the younger son.  I have officially appointed him as navigator of family trips (of course I know where we're going).  First thing he pointed out was that there are two state parks up Highway 31.  I said that I knew.  I let a little time pass, then said we would be visiting Oak Mountain State Park, which has a bird sanctuary, a wild life sanctuary, hiking and biking trails, camping, boating, swimming, golfing... the list goes on.  But all we had time for was the bird sanctuary (the wildlife sanctuary was closed for the day) and a little hiking.  We had to make it back home by seven. 

The oldest was thrilled that he got to drive (it takes an hour and a half from our home to the park) and the youngest and I settled in for the trip.  Which always includes directions (unwanted by the elder) from the back seat and lots of "slow down" warnings from the front passenger seat.  We cruised through the small towns along the way and in each we asked whether or not our high school soccer team, on which the oldest is a member, played that particular school.  It was great for the guys to see places they have heard of, to be able to place them on the map.

Oak Mountain State Park was great!  Okay, except for the horrible mountains we had to climb.  The boys did great.  It was just me, their mother, huffing and puffing, or better yet PANTING, bringing up the rear, who is so out of shape she had the tiniest problem.  It was a good thing I was there too, because I was the one who said which trail actually did lead back to the Wildlife Center.  It was fun, though! 

Youngest son -- by the way, that fence does not go up the mountain.

I allowed the oldest to drive back home down I-65. I think we made it home faster than you are supposed to, but not by much.  The oldest did stay with traffic -- pretty much.  Once we returned home, it was back to being bored again!  What else would you expect from teenagers?!?

By the way, today was my first day of walking nearly normal.  Those mountains nearly killed my calves!  And to think that I wanted to making hiking a fairly regular thing.  Well, I still want to!

 Reese

Ferns growing in the creek bed

Mom's Gift

Following on the theme of Ann Voskamp at The One Thousand Moms Project, what is the best gift your mother gave to you?

Mine would be a life by example.  Putting her family first.  There is no way it could have been easy.  Mama and Daddy had six kids in 10 years.  I am the oldest, and when I was six we moved to Indiana so Daddy could go to college, studying to be used of God in service.  There were three of us kids at that time, with a fourth on the way.  While we were in Indiana, two more were born.  The fourth child was born with a birth defect and if not for the great doctors of the Chicago hospitals, he would not now be a wonderful husband and father of three great children.  There was a year or two of time in and out of the hospital, surgery, etc.  Daddy was in college, although he took time off with the problems of the fourth child.  Somehow, life went on normally for us kids.  Daddy worked full time and went to school full time.  And Mama worked full time to support the family.  We kids never knew the struggles that were going on.

When I was growing up, I took life for granted.  I never understood or even thought about the sacrifices that were made by my parents.  By my mom.  For us.  What they went through with a child who had a life threatening birth defect.  With three other kids, one only a year old.  Now as a mom myself, and having had to give one of my own children back to God, I understand just a tiny bit what my parents went through.  Having a child hurting, standing by and watching, not knowing what the outcome will be, tears a mother's (and dad's) heart out.  What does that do to relationships?  Relationships with each other, with God?

Thanks to both my parents for their strong faith in God, for leading by example, and for staying with each other for 45 years (this June).

I love you!

90th Birthday

My grandmother, Dot Coon

After weeks of careful planning, lots of hard work, and worry that the guest of honor might not be able to make it, the day had arrived.  The event was the 90th birthday of one very special lady, my grandmother Dot Coon.  A couple of weeks ago we thought we might lose her.  Yesterday we thought she was not going to be able to make it to the (surprise) party.  But she did!  She is one very tough woman.  All five of her children were there.  Most of her grandchildren were there.  And several great grandchildren were there.  And one great great grandchild.  All in her honor.  All because we love her. 

Grandma with all her sons and daughters and their spouses.

The day was perfect.  Hot, but not too hot.  A nice breeze blew through to cool things off.  The shade from the trees was wonderful and inviting.  The smell of the chicken being cooked over an open fire was incredible and made tummies rumble.  Getting re-acquainted with cousins was great!  And meeting spouses, children and grandchildren of cousins was a little bit daunting.

My dad with his mother.

My sister spent hours and hours in preparation of a book to give to my grandmother, from her children.  The best thing you could ever give to Grandma was a photograph.  Anything else she would just give right back.  So Daddy surreptitiously collected her photo albums and he and my sister culled thousands of photos to put together in a book.  Photos of Grandma's parents.  I believe even a photo of both of her grandfathers.  Photos of her as children. Photos of her and Granddaddy.  Photos of their children.  Photos of their families.  Six copies of the book were handed out, one to Grandma and one to each of her children.  Believe me, those books got conversations going!  And stories told.  I would listen to one, with my ears tuned to others at the same time. 

It was a long and tiring day, but well worth the time and effort of everyone involved. 

Thank you so much, Lord, for my Grandmother, for my family, and for the wonderful day You gave to us yesterday.

"Honor thy father and thy mother that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee."  Exodus 20:12

Reese

Weekends in the Country

Before my sons and I moved to town, we had five acres of land in the country. We had a barn, horses, dogs, cats and even donkeys at one time.  A pond was in the front, we had lots of oak trees, plenty of shade, and peace and quiet.  I thought I would live there forever!  Then came divorce, extreme tension between parties, and it was advised by my dad that we move to a safer area, along with a better school system.  What I thought I was giving up, I found was made up in many ways.  I no longer had the sole responsibility of keeping up a large piece of land.  I was able to focus on maintaining a much smaller lot in a subdivision, and have been able to do extensive gardening and landscaping.  What was once a chore has now become a pleasure.  And I still get my jaunts into the country any time I please.  I just get on the Interstate and travel about 30 minutes south to my parents' place.  There they have everything we had, plus more!  I love sharing photos and tales of goings on in the country, and I hope you enjoy them, too.

This past Friday night I spent the night with my grandmother, whose home adjacent to my parents'. Mom called and told me to be up at 7:00 so we could go take pictures. We both woke up late! I couldn't imagine what we were going to photograph so early in the morning, but I was ready before she was. We climbed in her car and set off down the road in search of -- something. She was looking for a field of wild lilys that was growing near the railroad tracks. We never found them, but I found lilys in her garden and in the pastures surrounding the house, which I photographed later in the afternoon. 

This wisteria is only a few years old. But it has grown so well over mom's pergola covering her patio. Wish you could have smelled it this weekend! And the bees -- constantly humming... 

While I was waiting on Mom I took pictures of the sunrise.  There was  a soft glow coming from behind the woods to the east, and I wanted a picture of that with Mom's garden in the front.  I got several, which I might share later.  


I also wandered around the house and took in the sights and smells, especially the smells coming from the wisteria that grows up, on and over the huge pergola over the patio.  There was an intense buzzing going on from the countless bumble bees.  The smell was incredible!  And not only was there beauty from above, the fallen petals on the patio floor were pretty, too.  I picked up a handful to see if there was any scent left to them, thinking if there was they would make a nice potpourri, but the smell was gone.  Every time I walked anywhere close to the wisteria that day the scent was amazing!


Of course I didn't take pictures all day!  By 8:30 after sharing morning coffee with my parents, my Mom and I were out in the yard.  First on the list was a wheelbarrow full of compost.  If you live on a farm you know you can get some really good compost.  Such excellent dirt!  And it's needed in Mom's garden, because she has CLAY, and nothing you want to grow will grow well in clay.

Mom not only likes the traditional flowers you see in a garden, but wild flowers as well. Her garden is not formal, just relaxed and inviting. 

After Mom and I finished the yard chores for the day, I grabbed my camera and wandered around taking pictures.  

Lilies of the field -- doesn't that remind you of verses in the Bible ...(Luke 12:27)?  Mom brought it up, and she's right.  Lilys were  growing in the wooded area of the flower beds, where I took pictures of them nestled against an iron rabbit. Then I walked into the pasture.  I was specifically hoping to get some shots of the horses and ponies in the middle of the lilies, but they wouldn't have  anything to do with it.  So I took shots of what I had.  

I had to keep moving so this little pony would be far enough away to photograph.  
Curious little thing!

I was tired after working all day in the yard with mom, so I just plopped down on the ground and decided to get some ground level shots of the horses and ponies. Quite a different perspective.  The dark pony was inquisitive, probably wondering what I was doing sitting on the ground.  I turned my back to him once to get the above shot of the single lily, and felt something woofing and nibbling on my feet.   

This is Cherokee, mom's horse. She is absolutely beautiful, with a personality to match! 

I'm looking forward to what I might see in the upcoming weeks.  Hope you have an enjoyable and relaxing weekend!

Reese

TEENAGERS! The Fine Art of Being IGNORED

As any parent of teenagers knows, life with teens has you constantly on and off the love/hate list.  Most times you are on the hate list.  So it is with great joy that I take in and cherish every moment on the love list!  Okay, maybe that's taking it a bit far, but doesn't it feel like it sometimes?  Well, several times lately I feel like I might have moved a step or two towards that love list. I know, I know, it won't last long before the teen rules and regulations put me back on the sideline and I am the tough guy again; but really, lately I have ENJOYED being with my teens. 

Case in point -- this past Saturday our area sponsored a Home & Garden Show in which my dad and brothers participated.  I wanted to check out their booth and also take a couple of stools for them to sit on (three day event).  I told my dad that "we" would be there around 10:00 in the morning. If you have teenagers, you KNOW they are not keen on getting out of bed early, and especially not on a Saturday morning, because Saturdays are meant for sleeping in.  I fixed a special breakfast for the guys. The younger was not too much trouble.  It was the older one who was trouble.  Well, he just didn't want to get up.  His thoughts were: who wants to go to an old HOME AND GARDEN SHOW!  Man, that stuff's for GIRLS!  I should have pushed that "girl" point -- after all, he is SIXTEEN and likes girls...  Finally I told him it would be good driving practice and I needed a chauffeur. Plus it would probably mean eating out one meal, and if he didn't go he would have to eat a sandwich at home -- get 'em through their stomachs, it works just about every time!

Once at the show I turned the guys loose and let them roam the arena while I stayed with my family for a while, waiting for my sister to show up.  There was so much to see, so much to learn.  My guys, who did not want to even attend, were fascinated with the stuff going on.  My younger son was interested in the cooking demonstrations (he enjoys cooking and is considering becoming a chef) and even helped one of the participants for a while.  My older son was fascinated by the bee traps.  So fascinated in fact that once we got home, he researched them on the Internet and then spent several hours outside building his own.  I went outside to check on him once and he had his shirt off and was using a hand saw to cut through a 1" x 6" board.   He told me he thought he might like to go into contracting work (I think he needs a LOT more practice).

One of the shows the event hosted was about birds of prey, sponsored by the area's wild bird sanctuary.  Four birds of prey were featured, which we saw live and close up.  My guys were fascinated (so was I), and it turns out they want to take a day trip to the sanctuary to see more of these birds.  Hmm... they NEVER want to take trips, I'd better take advantage of this.

Looks like I'm off the bad list for a while, and I think I may be looking forward to that day trip about as much as my guys!

You know, as much as I love my sons and really dislike being ignored by them, how much more do we think the heavenly Father feels when His own children put Him on that ignore and "hate" list?  Much more than earthly parents He wants to give us what is best for us. He wants to spend time with us.  In fact, that's why we were created!  Instead we put Him on the back burner, the if I find time I'll spend time with You list.  Puts things into perspective, doesn't it? 

Reese

What Christmas Means to Me…

One of my earliest memories of Christmas happened when we were living in Indiana. One evening my parents went into their room to wrap our Christmas gifts and we kids, all six of us, clustered as close to their door as we could without getting into too much trouble. One or two of us climbed into the rocking armchair, leaning dangerously over the back, and in our excitement it tipped over. There were just so many exciting sounds coming from our parents’ room we could hardly stand it!

Needless to say Mama and Daddy didn’t get much peace on Christmas morning with six kids trying to get them up so we could unwrap our gifts. Finally they came up with the brilliant idea of allowing us to open one, and only one, gift Christmas Eve. That placated us for a while… Eventually even that turned into opening ALL our gifts on Christmas Eve, and we would have a party. Soon certain foods were expected each year. Foods such as Cheerios Nuggets (yes, it was the 70s). Or Christmas cookies with slopped on icing; just how well do you think kids under 12 decorate cookies? Ummm…one year someone got a spanking because I counted the cookies and there weren’t as many as we thought there should be, but I don’t want to talk about that right now. We had ginger ale and lime sherbet punch. No presents could be opened until we were ALL finished eating. Now that was really rotten because the food was great, but the anticipation of opening those presents was almost greater.

There were always loads of presents under the tree! One year my parents bought each of my brothers a tool box -- yep, a REAL tool box -- and filled them with Legos. That was back when you had to use your imagination to create things from Legos. Then one year they bought us Hungry, Hungry Hippo! I don’t know what possessed them to buy that game, it was soooo loud. Back to those Legos. I’ll admit it, I was jealous. I wanted some, too!

Living up North it was expected that there would be snow on the ground, and a lot of it, for Christmas. This meant sledding. There were too many of us to have our own sled, so Daddy made sleds out of paneling and we’d put the slick side down and race around. Boy, was it ever fun to go flying down hills! Dare I tell you the hills I’m talking about were the clover leafs on the highway? We weren’t the only ones using them for sledding, I promise you! We would come home soaked clear through our socks and long johns.

Now that we are grown things aren’t much different, unless you count that there is no snow here in the South for Christmas. We still celebrate on Christmas Eve. Instead of six of us kids, we have grown to twenty-something of us plus whatever extended family might be visiting. There is always fun in the chaos, and believe me there’s a lot of chaos when we all get together!

But in the midst of all our frivolity we remember the most important part of Christmas, the true reason we celebrate. The birth of Jesus Christ the Son of God. Can you imagine what it might have been like to be around when Jesus was born? What about if you could have been one of the shepherds or one of the wise men, or if you could have been like Anna or Simeon who both waited in the temple until they were able to see the Messiah? What if I could have been one of His younger brothers or sisters? Would I have realized Who He is? Would I have chosen to follow Him? Would I have followed Him just because of His miracles, or because I believed He was the Messiah, the sacrificial Lamb, the only One Who could forgive me of my sins? John 3:16 is a verse we all know, “For God so loved the world, that He GAVE His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth on Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” I also remember Romans 2:8-9 which says, “For by grace are you saved through faith, and that not of yourselves. It is the GIFT OF GOD, not of works lest any man should boast.” Christmas means…Jesus!

Reese

BOOK REVIEW: Restless in Carolina

Restless in Carolina 

By: Tamara Leigh

Published by Multnomah Books

Copyright 2011

A blond with dreads, dirt under her nails and an attitude.  What an image!  But the family thinks that image must be changed to make a presentable, professional front to impress the environmentally friendly developer who is needed to save the family home and acreage from development into tract homes, or worse still a shopping center or industrial park!  How far will heroine Bridget Pickwick-Buchanan go to entice just the right buyer, and why is it her job, anyway?  In the process can she give up mourning her husband who has been dead for four years?  Can she move on with her life?   What about her presently non-existent relationship to God?  As far as Bridget is concerned, that relationship can stay just as it is, non-existent. 

But now there is not only one developer vying for the family lands, but two! One presents the front of wishing to purchase the property to make into his personal estate, which would be the perfect place to raise his family (by the way, he does not yet have a family...).  The other, the original developer Bridget was after, doesn't quite meet her expectations for the property with his development plan.

Combined with the hassle and headaches involved with finding just the right buyer, mix in family illness, family SCANDALS, a really smartalecky five year old twin niece and nephew, and WIDOW SNIFFERS!  Are these men out to get her money, what little is left of the scandalous family name, the property, or are they sincerely concerned about Bridget herself?

This book makes for a great read (check out the preview here).  I loved Ms. Leigh's use of terminology of the South.  Including the whole droppin' the Gs from word endin's.  Get the book and enjoy the fun!  Although this is the third book by Ms. Leigh on characters in this seemingly disfunctional family (I am just itchin' to get my hands on those first two books), Restless in Carolina is a great read on it's own.  Enjoy! 

In order to comply with new Federal Trade Commission regulations, please note that this book was provided compliments of WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group.

Memories

Apart from my dad, the man with the greatest influence on my life was my Papa, Howard Lee Hill.  When he died last year (July 21st) we tried to think of a verse that fit his life.  The above photo shows Papa witnessing to a man at the rescue mission in Montgomery, Alabama, and the verse is one that is marked in my Bible, and which we felt fit Papa perfectly.  It's Romans 1:16 which says, "For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth; to the Jew first, and also to the Greek."  Papa was a man who was not ashamed of the gospel.  Even during his illness when he was in the hospital a couple of times, in rehab, and then sent home for his final month, he was constantly witnessing.  Whether he was lucid or not, he was witnessing.  At one point he was desperately trying to get my dad (who he had led to Christ in the 1960s) to accept Christ -- not knowing who my dad was.  To help ease Papa's mind, Daddy finally accepted Christ (again)!  Papa wanted to be read to out of the Bible during those last days.   You won't believe what he wanted to hear -- Revelation! 

My Papa and me

It wasn't easy letting Papa go.  After all, this man had been my hero for 41 years.  I loved him with all my heart.  Both Papa and Nanny were and are special to me.  I was privileged to be their oldest grandchild, even though I was born to their youngest child.  I was the "world's most photographed baby."  Being the "world's most photographed baby" means that I have a lot of pictures of me with my grandparents.  Those pictures are treasures now.

"Old Fashioned Sunday"

Any time and anywhere Papa and Nanny wanted me to go, I went.  I didn't care if I went with them by myself or with others.  The point was to be with Papa and Nanny.  I got upset with one of my brothers one time.  We were the two oldest (he's the little boy in the photo wearing the overalls), so we were allowed to stay in Alabama with Papa and Nanny at Nanny's mom's house until they were ready to drive back to Indiana where we were living at the time.  Unfortunately, this said brother who will not be named, got homesick and we had to leave early!  I was so disappointed!

My Papa and me!

Papa was so full of wisdom.  When I was about 20 and going to college in Savannah, Georgia, Papa and Nanny brought my sister for a visit at Thanksgiving.  Papa took me aside and told me that people thought I was stuck up, but he realized that I was an introvert. He encouraged me to work on that.  Of course, I was also and still am very tenderhearted, so I began to cry and Papa had to comfort me.  The last couple of years of his life Papa told me on a couple of occasions what he thought about certain situations, but he always qualified it by saying that I didn't have to take his advice.  My response was that I would be foolish not to listen to him, he was older and wiser that I. 

Papa and Nanny, June 2010

I could tell you about Papa's war experience -- he earned quite a few medals, including the purple heart and bronze star.  I could tell you about his service to Christ.  Or about his work ethic.  I could tell you about his technical mind, a very smart man!  But what I remember most is his spiritual influence over our family.  Because of his salvation and his willingness to share with others, his three children and their spouses, his twelve grandchildren and their spouses, and all of his nineteen great grandchildren who are old enough have accepted Christ as their Savior. What a wonderful testimony!

I am so thankful that God allowed Howard Hill to be MY grandfather!

Last picture of me with Papa, July 2010

Reese

Today is my parents’ 44th wedding anniversary!

When I was about six (and had two younger brothers) daddy gave up his good job at the bank and the decision was made to attend Hyles-Anderson College in Indiana.  Daddy went to school and worked full time.  My mom also worked full time.  We kids were enrolled in Hammond Baptist Grade School and we attended First Baptist Church of Hammond, Indiana (to me, the preaching was exceptional and I heard great preachers such as Dr. John R. Rice, Dr. Bill Rice, Dr. Lee Roberson, heard Rudy Atwood play the piano, and laughed at ventriloquist Geraldine and Little Ricky, too!).  Three more kids were born, one with life a threatening birth defect that required major surgery over the course of a year or more, which in turn extended Daddy’s years in college and our time in Indiana to a total of seven. 

It was encouraged that all men who attended Hyles-Anderson should become “preacher boys” and that they should go out on weekly “soul winning” visits.  My brother Brian and I sometimes went with daddy to the ghettos of Chicago, knocking on doors and telling people about Jesus.  Some people closed doors in our faces, some invited us in, some invited HIM in! What a great learning experience for us kids!

I remember my mom’s boss, who was Jewish, coming to our home.  He was loud.  He stretched himself across my parents’ bed.  Daddy had his Bible out and they talked about Christ as the promised Messiah.  Because of my mom’s witness at work, daddy was able to lead him to the Lord. 

We lived in Oregon for three years while daddy pastored a small church.  I distinctly remember hearing that one of the women in church told my mother we kids were not going to turn out right because my mom had a job outside the home.  Can you imagine being told that?  However, God used my parents in that community.  Souls were saved and lives were changed.

According to my sister, Elizabeth, what influenced her the most “was the closeness that (was) experienced as a family.  Even if it was just a Sunday afternoon drive, Mom and Daddy always tried to make things enjoyable and interesting. Everything was a learning experience, but fun at the same time.”  I remember those drives and trips! I remember standing under the rocket in Huntsville, Alabama (1970s).  We went to Mount St. Helens (which had erupted a few years earlier) in Washington.  We camped at Crater Lake in Oregon.  We hiked  and rode horses all over Oregon.  We saw the redwoods in California.  We saw the Grand Canyon, Hoover Dam, the Rocky Mountains…!

Some of Elizabeth’s best memories as a family? Our “moving from Oregon to Alabama. What an adventure! Being able to see sights as a family that we knew we may never get to see again was awesome.” 

About that move… my parents sold just about everything so we could take our two horses with us.  My parents said it was easier to take the horses than to leave the kids!  Taking the horses proved a grand adventure!  We stopped more often because the horses needed exercise (so did the kids!!).  We had some fun riding down the side of the highways!  At one roadside stop in New Mexico a state trooper pulled over and ultimately invited us to his home.  We made such an impression on him (don’t know if it was good or bad!) that he sent cards for several years.  It took us two weeks to get from Madras, Oregon to Montgomery, Alabama, arriving on an extremely hot Mother’s day weekend in 1985. 

We have been back in Alabama twenty-six years.  Daddy has built a family business where three of my four brothers are partners.  He honors God through his business and is quick to witness to everyone he meets.  The reputation of our family is such that people come up to us kids and say, “you’re one of those Coons, aren’t you?”  Yes, we are! 

Proverbs 22:6 says “train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”  Because of my parents’ training, all six of us accepted Christ as our Savior at an early age.  My brothers have all married Christian women.  All of the grandchildren who are old enough have also made early decisions for Christ.  And all of my brothers serve in lay positions in their churches.

Happy Anniversary Daddy & Mama!

Reese

Ephesians 6:2  says, “honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise.”