Thoughts

I am naturally curious.  I always want to know more.  What is around the corner, why something happened the way it did, that sort of thing.  It shouldn't be a surprise that I'm this way.  I have heard often enough that my mother used to try to get me to quit asking questions, while my grandfather told her to answer them -- how else was I going to learn?

One evening not long ago and friend and I left Bible study, and he asked if I was in a hurry to get home or if I could just hang out for a while.  I drove because she doesn't like driving at night (neither do I!).  She pointed and asked if we could find out what was down that road?  Being naturally curious, I said sure!  It was dark and the way was lit only by a few street lights and the headlights of my car.  But we drove down the winding, rising and falling road, looking around, surprised we didn't know what was in this area of town.  I admired a small lake we crossed over, and the lights of homes shining in the lake.  I really enjoyed the architecture of the homes.  When my friend asked if we could explore one of the side roads, I happily complied.

All of our exploring got me to thinking.  I had never been down that road before so I knew nothing of what was there.  And when I took the road, I could only see what was along it's edges, not what was hidden from view.  Only when we drove deeper, down side roads, could I see what was off that first road.  And isn't that just like people?  What you see on the surface is not the whole truth.  Sometimes you get an accurate picture of what is buried inside, and sometimes you don't.  What would happen if we were to dig deeper into the lives of others?  What would we find?  And almost more importantly, what would someone find if they were to dig past the top layers of me?  Would it be pleasing to God?  I'm afraid that a lot of times it wouldn't be pleasing to Him. 

I don't want to be as Christ accused the teachers and pious leaders of His day: 

“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean."  Matthew 23:27, New International Version (NIV)

But instead like this: 

"In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven."  Matthew 5:16, New International Version (NIV)

How about you?

Reese

Personal Thoughts on Abusive Situations

I have been feeling like I need to make some personal comments after having read and posted the book review on Break Through. I have kept quiet on my blog about personal abuse in my marriage out of respect for my two teenage sons. However, reading Break Through has prompted me to give you some personal, insider notes without trying to make a big deal or cast blame. I do feel that at some point in time God will ask me to share, and I want to be obedient, ready and willing when that time comes. But for now, here are some comments from the perspective of someone who has been there.

To those in crises situations:

There is no shame in seeking help.

There is never any reason for someone to verbally or physically abuse you.

You did not "make" them do it to you.

Be prepared for denial on the part of the offender.

It will NOT get better, only worse.

To family members of those in crises situations:

Unless a person is ready to get out of the abusive situation, they will go right back to it. It’s easier to deal with what you know than the unknown.

Never, ever minimize the abuse with your loved one.

Do not pretend it did not happen.

The person in the situation needs to be acknowledged and allowed to give voice when the need arises.

Most of the time your loved one just needs to talk.

Yes, it's painful for you to hear.

Yes, you may want to take action against the offending party.

And no, you are not to blame for what happened or for not knowing what was going on.

The important thing is what you do now. Just don't let yourself get into a situation where you are enabling, you need to help your loved one grow.

How do you think God feels:

God loves you.

You are precious in His sight.

He died for us to free us from our sins.

He was ABUSED and MURDERED for us.

He knows what you are going through.

He wants you to be free from abuse.

You know, Christians have been taught that divorce is wrong; that under no circumstance should you consider divorce. I struggled with this issue of divorce for several years before breaking free. However, there are a few instances in the Bible in both the Old and the New Testaments giving permission for divorce. While waiting to make your decision you may need to get help and physically step away from the abusive situation and not return until you are certain the offenses will not happen again (which means that not only the offender needs to change, but you need to change, too). If your life is on the line you need to get out, and the sooner the better. And please, find someone you can trust and talk with.

I am a woman who is now five years free from living this type of life, and my situation was mild considering what I have seen and heard of others. I made a decision to get help (counseling and the help of family members), to change my life, to make good friends (do you really have friends when you are in this type of situation?), to grow into the woman I feel I was always meant to be. You can do it, too!

Reese

NOTE: I am not a professional counselor. I am not a counselor at all. My thoughts are just that, my personal thoughts. Please seek counseling from a professional if you are in an abusive situation!

BOOK REVIEW: Break Through

By: Tim Clinton and Pat Springle
Copyright 2012
Published by Worthy Publishing

It is sometimes difficult for me to read about negative, destructive relationships, having come from one myself.  I wish I would have had this book a number of years ago, but I was able to get good counseling to help me sort out my own issues.  I was able to realize there was a problem, determine what the problem was, and seek to remedy that problem.  But I had to get away from the circumstances of that problem.  Reading Break Through five years after I stepped away, FREE, from my own personal issues sheds a lot of light on my situation and why I did the things I did.  I imagine I am not alone in personal relationship struggles.  In fact, I would venture to say that most everyone has had a negative relationship in their life, either by being the needy person or being the one who was controlling. And even though these relationships are unhealthy, it is sometimes easier to stay with something we know instead of breaking free into the unknown.  That is what Break Through, by Dr. Tim Clinton and Pat Springle seeks to explain. 

Here is an excerpt from Break Through which seems to sum up these harmful relationships:

"It is incredibly difficult to overcome a lifetime of entrenched habits, fixed and vivid memories, rigid brain patterns, manipulative feedback from a demanding person, and the adrenaline rush of pain and pleasure.  Until a major crisis creates an explosive combination of desperation and true hope that shakes us to the core, we will not change. Until that crisis rocks our world, we will cling to the false hope that the person(s) with whom we share an enmeshed relationship will magically change and everybody will live happily ever after."

Another point made in Break Through is that we all have to realize we cannot change another person.  We can only change ourselves.  And if the other person refuses to acknowledge that there is a problem and continues in the destructive pattern, then we must have the courage to separate ourselves from that relationship.  We ourselves cannot heal until we step back from our destructive behaviours, whether they be controlling others or being controlled by others.  We need to be willing to set things right with other parties, realizing they may not be willing to comply.  We may need to forgive and then move on with our lives, making sure to keep avenues open to accept and work with the ones we have been entrapped with, without allowing the same destructive habits to come back into the relationship.

Let me just take the opportunity to say this:  if you are in a destructive relationship where abuse occurs, find someone to help you!  Do it now, don't wait.  And if one person is not willing to help you, then search until you get the help you need. 

  

Clinton and Springle liberally use God's word to show how being in a hurtful relationship, whether we are the one hurting or the one doing the hurting, is not what God designed.  And using the same word of God to show how we can make changes in our lives to have better relationships with others.

Something to remember: 

"Crises seem utterly cataclysmic.  The heartache and darkness of a crises can be overwhelming, but God is the master of turning mourning into dancing and darkness into light.  If we step back, we might catch a glimpse of what he sees...God will use even our most difficult moments to produce the qualities of Jesus in us as we trust him.  And he'll replace our shame with hope -- the assurance that our lives matter and God loves us dearly.  We may not like the curriculum God has for us, but the outcome is sweet:  hope and love."

I hope that you will pick up a copy of this book.  Read it yourself, answer the thought provoking questions at the end of the chapter, share this book with a friend.  If you are hurting, take the first step to get help.  If you know someone who is hurting, be there for that person.  Lovingly help them get help to make needed changes.  Share this book and other books with them.  And by all means pray!

In order to comply with new Federal Trade Commission regulations, please note that this book was provided compliments of  Handlebar Marketing.

BOOK REVIEW: Subversive Kingdom

Subversive Kingdom
By: Ed Stetzer
Published by B & H Publishing Group
Copyright 2012

Do you ever wonder what life as a child of God is REALLY supposed to be like?  Is life in Christ stale and ho-hum?  Should it really be all about becoming a Christian, going to church, and that's it?  In his new book Subversive Kingdom, Mr. Ed Stetzer takes a look at what Christians are really supposed to be doing with their lives.  And that's not living with a get out of hell free card and doing nothing else.


Subversive Kingdom is divided into three sections: Part I - A Subversive Way of Thinking, Part II - A Subversive Way of Life, and Part III - A Subversive Plan of Action.  As Christians, we are supposed to be representatives (ambassadors) of Christ. We are supposed to go out and share the gospel, the good news of salvation.  We are supposed to help those who need help, give of our time, talents, etc.  However, we are supposed to do those things BECAUSE we are Christians, not in order to BECOME Christians.  Our lifestyles should reflect our great joy and thankfulness of what the Savior has done for us.  We should be attracting others to Christ with the way we live -- not just on Sundays!  Can a person tell you are really a Christian by your actions?


Mr. Stetzer puts forth his answers in a very interesting, thought provoking format.  It is not a deeply theological book, in other words, everyone can read and understand this book.  And yes, I was convicted.  Now, what am I going to do about it?


I recommend this book to ALL Christians, whether or not we want to follow what this book teaches.  It may help us change our minds about our lives in Christ, our ambassadorship here on earth, and our outreach for souls.


In order to comply with new Federal Trade Commission regulations, please note that this book was provided compliments of  B & H Publishing Group.

BOOK REVIEW: A Heart Like His

A Heart Like His
By: Beth Moore
Published by B&H Publishing Group
Copyright 1999, 2003, 2012

If you have never attended a Beth Moore Bible study, if you have never read one of her books, if you have never listened to her on the radio, you are missing a real treat.  This woman has wonderful insight into the Bible and into the hearts of women.

Unfortunately, the first time I attended one of her Bible studies (a DVD study at a small church), I was unable to concentrate on the study because I was so distracted by the trappings of the DVD -- the numerous changing of outfits, etc. during one session.  That experience turned me off on Beth Moore for a long time.  However, I am learning that I need to go below the surface.  I need to look into the heart, so to speak.  So when I was asked if I would like to review Beth Moore's book A Heart Like His: Intimate Reflections on the Life of David, I said yes. 

And I am so glad I did!  I cried through this book.  I was convicted through this book.  I was astonished, and reminded of God and His love for us, flawed as we are.  So many pages in my copy of A Heart Like His have pencil marks as reminders, and page corners turned down. 

Beth Moore begins A Heart Like His with David's "back story".  The events in Israel that set the stage.  Characters such as Samuel, Saul and Jonathan.  Israel's demand for a king, the desire to be like all the other nations.  The events that helped shape Israel, that ultimately helped shape David.  David's love, courage, wisdom, and fierce loyalty to God even as a young boy.  A Heart Like His takes you through David's entire life, ending with his death at the age of 70.  He was a beloved king.  He was a strong, valiant warrior.  He was a sinner.  He was a man after God's own heart.

In A Heart Like His you will find an in-depth look at the life of David.  What makes up his character.  David was definitely a flawed human being.  This Bible study brings out his sin with Bathsheba, the murder of Bathsheba's husband, the death of the son resulting from that sin; the rape of his daughter Tamar by his first son Amnon, the resulting hatred of Tamar's brother Absalom for Amnon, the murder of Amnon by Absalom; the attempted overthrow of David by Absalom.  On an on David's sins are pointed out.  But so to are the accomplishments of David.  His willingness to be led of God.  His relationship with God.  His brokenness and desire to return to God once his sins were pointed out. Over and over Beth Moore points out the chastening of God in regards to David.  The leading of David back to God.

Beth Moore has used this study of David to point out areas in our lives where God can use us.  Even when we have sinned and sinned greatly, God can still use His people.  The key is forgiveness.  He is always waiting, always willing.  It's up to us.

It would be a good idea to read this book slowly, in conjunction with reading the Scriptures involved, to absorb and apply the lessons of David.  There is also available an in-depth Bible study, 11 weeks, called David: Seeking a Heart Like His.

In order to comply with new Federal Trade Commission regulations, please note that this book was provided compliments of  Shelton Interactive and B&H Publishing Group.

Ramblings on James 2




Pond at my parents' house

 

On Sunday nights I have been attending a singles Bible study.  Just a bunch of singles from all walks of life, most of them over 45.  However, there are now a few of us under 45, and we are called the "babies".  I digress.  The last couple of weeks we have been studying the book of James.  Sunday night we were in chapter 2.  The first few verses, actually through verse 13, created a great discussion. How do we treat others?  What if we think someone is beneath us?  Maybe we think we have a better paying job, or they don't take care of themselves properly, or they don't look right according to our standards.  How are we supposed to treat them?  James uses some pretty strong language to let Christians know that we will be judged in the same manner that we judge others. 

One of our group brought up that we should be mirrors to others.  We should reflect back to them what we see, the reflection of God in our lives.  We should be showing love and not judgement.  Too many times I have to remind myself of that very thing.  Aren't we all created equal in God's eyes?  Haven't we all sinned?  None of us is perfect, not even close.  All of our righteousness is as filthy rags, as the Bible points out. 

Wouldn't it be nice, isn't it what God wants, that we reflect His glory, His love to others?  Just as in the photo above of the reflection of the trees and sky in my parents' pond, we should be reflecting to others our God.  If we are not living right, which happens to all of us, how can we reflect the true image of God?  How will others see Him in us?  It would be distorted, like ripples in a pond distorting the image of God.  Who would want to be a Christian if they see us acting like we do sometimes?

Matthew 5:16 says "let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven."  Full circle back to how we treat others.  There is no way we can let our light shine for Christ, our image reflect His glory, if we don't treat others right.  And that brings us to the last half of the second chapter of James.  James asks Christians how they can say they are Christians if their actions say otherwise?  I think I have some work to do...

Reese

Just Thinking...

Personal thoughts on Luke 11:1-13 and Jeremiah 18:1-11...

Recently I was reading in Luke 11:1-13 how Jesus’ disciples came to Him and said John the Baptist had taught his disciples to pray a specific way. Jesus’ disciples asked if He would teach them to pray His way. Jesus accommodated them with what we call the Lord’s prayer. I love how The Voice translates verses 2 - 4:

^"Father [in heaven], may Your name be revered.  May Your kingdom come. [May Your will be accomplished on earth as it is in heaven.]  Give us the food we need for tomorrow,  And forgive us for our wrongs, for we forgive those who wrong us.  And lead us away from temptation. [And save us from the evil one.]”*

Jesus then launches into dialogue about how the Father is willing to give us what we need and what we ask for, as long as it is within His will, and summarizes in verse 13 (continuing from The Voice):

"Look, all of you are flawed in so many ways, yet in spite of all your faults, you know how to give good gifts to your children. How much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to all who ask!”

I had surgery nearly two weeks ago and had fears of something happening to me while in the hospital and even during the procedure. So I began praying a few days beforehand asking God to remove my problem, or if He didn’t to help me deal with it. I didn’t have the problems I feared, and I knew Who to thank. Last week I found the above verses during my personal Bible study, and they fit together perfectly with my circumstances. No matter how trivial our problems seem to be, God wants to help. There’s another verse in the Bible (James 4:2-3) that says we have not because we ask not. However, sometimes we think we can handle our problems on our own and don’t bother to ask.

Just as Jesus talked about the friend arriving at midnight and a father giving his son whatever he could (instead of something that would have been harmful), so does our Heavenly Father. He is just waiting on us…. Think of the many blessings we miss out on because we don’t ask!

This leads me to Jeremiah 18:1-11, which was preached on in our service yesterday morning. Most people remember this as the story of the potter’s wheel, which it is, but what I got out of it deals with God changing His mind. Uh, oh! We Christians don’t like to think about that, because then we see through our own eyes and think maybe God is wishy-washy, which we know He definitely isn’t! However, these verses, especially verses 7-11, state that God is the One Who sets up and takes away kingdoms. And He is willing to change His plans if we are willing to obey and follow Him (to confuse you even further, God already know what we will choose to do!). Listen to what He says as from the New King James version study Bible:

"The instant I speak concerning a nation and concerning a kingdom, to pluck up, to pull down, and to destroy it, if that nation against whom I have spoken turns from its evil, I will relent of the disaster that I thought to bring upon it. And the instant I speak concerning a nation and concerning a kingdom, to build and to plant it, if it does evil in My sight so that it does not obey My voice, then I will relent concerning the good with which I said I would benefit it.

"Now therefore, speak to the men of Judah and to the inhabitants of Jerusalem, saying, ‘Thus says the Lord: “Behold, I am fashioning a disaster and devising a plan against you. Return now every one from his evil way, and make your ways and your doings good.”’”

Did you get that!?!  Does it remind you of what happened to the Ninehvites in the story of Jonah (see specifically Jonah 3:5-10)? Just thinking about it right now reminds me also of King Hezekiah whose life was extended because of his prayer (see II Kings 20:1-11).

Again, God wants to give His children the best that He has to offer. But it must be according to His will, and we must be in obedience to Him. Who knows what blessings we’ll receive, if we obey. And who knows what might become of us if we don’t!

Reese 

* According to The Voice translation of the Bible, the phrases in brackets are omitted in the earliest manuscripts.

BOOK REVIEW: Lazarus Awakening

Lazarus Awakening

By: Joanna Weaver

Published by Multnomah Books

Copyright 2011, 2012

John chapters 11 and 12 give an interesting account of a man raised from the dead by Jesus. This was not just any man, but a man whom Jesus loved, along with his sisters Mary and Martha. Know who it was? Lazarus, of course! Who hasn't heard of the verse in the Bible that says "Jesus wept"? This is the man over whom Jesus wept. One of Jesus very good friends. However, not much is known about Lazarus; no words spoken by Lazarus are recorded, we don't know what he did for a living, we only know who his sisters were and where he lived, and that he was Jesus' friend.

Why did Jesus linger two days after receiving notice that Lazarus was sick, especially since Lazarus and his family were such good friends? Why did Jesus weep over Lazarus in light of the fact that He knew He was about to raise him up from the grave? Why did Jesus tell others to remove the stone from the tomb, or to unbind Lazarus from his grave clothes? All these questions and more are answered in Joanna Weaver's book Lazarus Awakening.

Mrs. Weaver's purpose is to share how we can apply the truths and principles learned from the true story of Lazarus to our own lives. God has wonderful plans for each of us, but He will not fulfill them unless we do what He requires of us, even though He is perfectly capable of doing so Himself. He could rid us of our own personal grave clothes and roll away the stones in our lives, but what would that benefit us? How would we grow as Christians?

Lazarus Awakening is beautifully ended with the story of Jesus' last dinner with His friends from Bethany. Just six days before that greatest Passover, Lazarus and his sisters give a dinner for Jesus, the same dinner where Lazarus' sister Mary anoints Jesus' feet with precious perfume and wipes them with her hair. Although she was criticized, Jesus knew of His approaching death and said "It was intended that she should save this perfume for the day of my burial" (John 12:7). Do you think she was thankful for what Jesus had done in her life and in the lives of her family?

I am looking forward to beginning the Bible study located in the appendix, scratching off my own grave clothes and learning how to help others with theirs, and then sharing this book. You won't be disappointed when you read Lazarus Awakening. Maybe you will be like me and have areas pointed out in your life that still need (in my case a lot of) work.

In order to comply with new Federal Trade Commission regulations, please note that this book was provided compliments of WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group.